I am very, very, very worried. Because of the glowing articles about Waiheke in Lonely Planet and
other places that should have kept their big mouths shut, and because so many people are leaving
America to escape Donald Trump and Britain to escape Brexit and everywhere else to escape
climate-change, the island is being deluged with alien bodies and alien vehicles.
As a result it is sinking. I have been taking precise measurements, and on the busiest days, when
the island was alien flesh and metal from one end to the other, it was an astonishing 10 metres
I felt the supermarket shaking, so our bit of the Earth's crust is definitely being deformed far
faster and more violently than that old myth called the rule of law.
So two imminent disasters are staring Waihekeans in the facials. Either the tonnage of alien flesh
and alien cars will suddenly be too much and the island will sink into the sea and we shall all
drown. Or when all the aliens go home the island will rise 10 metres in a big hurry and the
consequent earthquake will shake us all to pieces.
(Written on behalf of Chicken Licken who has been kidnapped and fried by KFC)
(So HE was right)