The really, really, really exciting headline in the New Zealand Herald announced with really, really, really breathless excitement that 'Ziplining is coming to Waiheke Island.'
Wow!
What we have always called a flying fox is now being called a zipline. That makes it really, really, really new and really, really, really exciting. Double wow!
What it means is that three flying-fox cableswill be defacing the Waiheke sky on Trig Hill, all so that three pairs of people can ride, side by side, 'over vineyards and down into native bush' (says the Herald).
EcoZip Adventures is the outfit that wants to make a buck out of this. 'EcoZip', which sounds like something that closes the fly in your natural pants, is yet another silly notion from the buckaroo brigade. Just put Eco in front of a dumb idea and expect everyone to bow down and flock to you with their wallets wide open, showering you with their bucks.
After the suckers have trundled along the flying fox EcoZipper says there will be guides to lead people on boardwalks and tracks through the bush to its flash new visitor centre. They will teach them about Waiheke. All that will take about an hour and a half, says EcoFly/Zip/Quickbuck.
The Zip blokes say that what they are creating is a chance for anyone to get up close and personal with our native bush, to reconnect with nature.
On a wire? On boardwalks?
Have they never heard of feet? Nothing can beat walking through the New Zealand bush on the leaf-mould. Certainly not three flying foxes for two, or boardwalks. Or Zippy off-islanders telling us all about Waiheke.
Those zippies are shooting us a line. Zip it, guys.
