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Friday, 23 December 2016

INCOMPETENT INORGANIC: PART 4

The next step was to fire off an email about this shemozzle to the Mayor, Phil Goff. This was the response. It was not from him, it was from yet another bureaucrat.

RE: [Fwd: RE: [Auckland City] Allocated: Request 1832047  Priority 3: Rubbish Missed.]

Dear Mr Ceramalus,

Thank you for your email to the Mayor. This is an operational matter that the Mayor is unable to assist with.

As requested by Hazel Durkin, your permission is needed in order to carry out the collection of the item, as the contractor is concerned about potentially damaging your stairs. If you accept the potential risk, the collection can be arranged within the next week.

Please send your response to Lynda Totua, copied in.

Kind regards,
Alison

Alison Grant | Correspondence Manager
Office of the Mayor of Auckland
Level 27, 135 Albert Street
Victoria Street West, Private Bag 92300 Auckland 1142,
Visit our website: www.aucklandcouncil.govt.nz

Weasel words. Notice how bureaucrats minds work. They state a 'seems' or an 'is concerned' or a 'possibility' or a 'consideration' or some such term, based on nothing but bureaucratic imaginings. Next that groundless non-fact is treated as a hard fact.

Here, they have chosen 'concern'. Their contractor has a 'concern' that if he uses a trolley he will damage my steps (which they insist, wrongly, on calling stairs). To the other bureaucrats that 'concern' is then deployed as a fact. It ignores the real fact that the publicity about this stupid collection system says that items must be able to be 'carried by two men.' Carried is carried. But bureaucrats are like Humpty Dumpty: 'Words mean whatever I say they mean.' So now 'carried' is 'taken on a trolley.' But it is an unnecessary trolley, because this item can be carried 10 metres. Far further, in real fact, by two men. Real men. Men with muscles. Men who are not lazy and powered by bureaucratic mainsprings.

So having changed the English language they invent a 'risk' on top of it, and throw their brainless ball back into my court. I must take the 'risk' of 'damage' to my 'stairs' (steps, people, they are steps). So now they are happy. They have blamed me, so all the inaction on their part will be my fault.

Step 1: a groundless 'fact'. Step 2: Treat that as a fact. Step 3: use that to throw the onus off themselves on to the ratepayer. DONE!

The above email has established another thing. The Mayor is hamstrung, walled off by bureaucrats from the people who elected him in a landslide. He does not see an email addressed to him. It is diverted. He is prevented from doing anything.

It is not worth wasting any more life on this Empire of Mainliner Fools. The inorganic item in question can stay where it is. Unless I get it picked up by a commercial carrier, then take the Empire to the Disputes Tribunal to get reimbursed. Last time I took the Empire there I won.

Footnote: It has yet to be established that the Empire has the legal right to create this collection-system for inorganic rubbish in which they can demand access for their contractors to private property to ferret about for it. 'Warwick'. who is two rungs above Hazel Durkin says that making an appointment for them to come gives them that right, but that is a spurious argument, because the system is such that the 'appointment' is made under duress. If you want a collection you must give access, because the system they created demands it.

Thursday, 22 December 2016

INCOMPETENT INORGANIC: PART 3

Today--some time after I had sent an email on this bureaucratic nonsense to the Mayor, Phil Goff--I received this email from the incompetent outfit over on the mainland, which after a month has still not collected the small fridge-freezer  I put out for the inorganic collection (for 'mainland' read the depository of mainliner bureaucrats high on their own methamphetamine vanity and incompetence):

RE: [Auckland City] Allocated: Request 1832047 Priority 3: Rubbish Missed.

Dear Mr Ceramalus,

I am writing to update on your enquiry regarding the inorganic collection.

Please be advised I have visited the site to make an assessment and could agree 
with both your assessment and the contractors.

I have asked that the contractor returns with a trolley to assist in lifting the 
item up the stairs.

The contractor is concerned about damaging the stairs which are slightly loose.  
Please can you confirm you are happy to accept this risk?

We'll try to get back tomorrow, so please respond today if you are able.  
Otherwise next week is possible also.

Kind Regards,
Hazel

Hazel Durkin | Senior Waste Advisor (Contracts)
Waste Solutions - Infrastructure & Environmental Services
Mobile 021 716 516
Auckland Council, Level 1N, 24 Wellesley Street West, Auckland




This woman should be sacked. She says she agrees both with me and the worthless lazy contractors who refuse to collect this item. That is bureaucratic fence-sitting on steroids. They should pump those steroids into the muscles of their contractors; then they might be able to carry this thing.

First: the contractor does not need a 'trolley' to carry this. Two men--real men, with real muscles--can carry it. When it was replaced with a much bigger one, two men, one young, carried the replacement all the way down to my dwelling: 80 metres. This can easily be carried by two men--real men, with real muscles. The 'trollety' is and all the rest of it is just a plethora of excuse-making to cover all their collective backsides, it is just to reinforce the lying pretence that the thing cannot be carried by the 'two men' quoted in the leaflets.

Second: there are no loose steps. The stakes holding them go deep. Thousands of things, many heavy, have been carried over them over the years. She is inventing to cover her incompetent backside.

Third: this brainless, extravagant, incompetent, wasteful woman used ratepayers' money and time to come all the way out here on a ferry and a car/bus/taxi to 'visit the site'. That is a return trip of about four hours. The woman is a damned fool.

Fourth: when I tried to call her, she had of course had herself replaced by 'voicemail'. So had her boss. So had her boss's boss. They are meant to be public servants. That means being accessible to the public. That fact has obviously not entered their bureaucratic heads.

Fifth: that 'Kind Regards' is wicked hypocrisy. Weasel-words.

She is incompetent, a liar, a bureaucrat, a fool and extravagantly wasteful. She should be sacked, sacked, sacked. She does not deserve employment at public expense.

This lot couldn't organise its way out of a wet paper-bag with the help of nuclear weapons and a squadron of bulldozers. Would that we had our own council on Waiheke Island and no longer had to deal with dumb-as-a-brick mainliners like this!

If these arch-fools had been in charge of allied forces in World War II we would have lost the war, we would all be speaking Nazi German, and be worshipping the corpse of Hitler. No, I am not angry, I am livid that my rates and taxes are pouring in the pockets of creatures whose mental capacity and general competence is so rubbishy that they cannot carry out a simple rubbish-collection, either on the day appointed by them (which I was ready for), even when given a month since then to do it since then, even after repeated phone calls and emails, even when I did everything demanded by them in their false-hearted advertised rules. Such creatures are the scum of the earth; every single day they thieve time and money out of others' lives; they are mindless bureaucratic thugs. They are dysfunctional, they have a sub-functional mindset, they are incapable of acting in anyone's best interests. All such creatures should be sacked, sacked, sacked.

If the fools who run Auckland Council had a worthwhile neuron they would institute psychometric testing, and employ no one who failed. Then they would be employing public servants, not bureaucrats, who are sociopaths or psychopaths, and therefore they would save billions because they would not have to be employing anything like the number they do employ. Bureaucrats are egregiously wasteful. Public servants are efficient and prudent.


Sunday, 18 December 2016

INCOMPETENT INORGANIC PART 2

Eleven days after the appointed inorganic pickup date for my address, and after only two phone calls
to the Council--only two!!--I was honoured with a call from a bureaucrat at the high-and-mighty
Auckland Council--that bastion of mainliners perched on a permanent high of their own petty power--a woman who announced herself as Hazel in a Pommy accent.

Bureaucrats don't have surnames, see, because they likes to live in Anonymous Land so that people
can't get at them... They doesn't like people, see. People is a nuisance, see. Worse than blowflies
at a picnic, see.

But my VOIP phone automatically records every single word of every single conversation in an MP3
file, so modern technology neatly defeats them boo-rock-rat wishes. It was stamped 09:54:00 on
06/12/2016 if you wants de boo-rock-rat accuracy.

(Not even the Pied Piper of Hamelin can get rid of boo-rock-rats. That's a well-known scientific
fact. Even more factual than gravity and the unwelcome pulling of ponytails.)

'The item was left because of the stairs,' quoth Hazel, as the MP3 file silently recorded. 'It
wasn't safe to carry the item down the stairs. They've made that assessment.'

I told her that that was rubbish (perfect pun, notice), and asked how did she think I got the thing
in here in the first place. And how did I manage to take it 70 metres back up the hill, all by my
unaided thread-like self, so that the Council's weak and timid collectors would not have to exert
themselves and risk their lives.

Of course, in talking to her I didn't use terms like 'thread-like' and 'weak and timid', because
mainliners don't have no sense of humour, see. (Maybe the full stop in that last sentence should be
after 'sense'. Then it would be 'Mainliners don't have no sense. Of humour. See.' Yes, much better.
Editing is such fun.)

'I don't accept that,' quoth Hazel, our unwitting MP3 Star. 'We actually had our independent
auditors out with them at the time, and they agreed with the decision.'

Whaaaaaaaaaaat! They carry 'independent auditors' about with them in their collection truck! So now
we know that they mainline on an overweening mix of steroids and petty power. Wow! That's progress.
Yes, my favourite one-word joke. Again. I get so many chances to use it in this midden world. And
getting more midden by the minute.

Hazel continued with her quothing: 'I support their decision. I can't ask them to go and collect
something that they think is a health-and-safety issue.'

But not a common sense issue, or even uncommon sense, or any kind of sense. Weak and timid, see.

Hazel quothed on: 'If you can get the item down the stairs, we will collect it.'

Small errors, there, Hazel. First it is up, not down. And thems is actually steps, not stairs.
Stairs is wot you has inside a building, O Unwitting MP3 Star. Steps is what you have outside, in a
path, on the edge of the porch, outside Pallymunt, etc. The fridge-freezer is waiting at the foot of
the STEPS--the foot--so it had to go up. UP, Hazel, not down. Wot an accurate report the
'independent auditors' did for our MP3 Star. They know not their up from their down or their stairs
from their steps or their health and safety issues from a piddling liddle fridge-freezer that they
had to carry a mere 7 metres.

And they cannot read their own advertising. The Orcland Council website says; 'Items should be able
to be lifted by two people. Accepted: Large appliances--fridges, freezers, washing machines and
ovens'. Misleading advertising, see. AKA lies.

But if I were do wot the MP3 Star wants and take the 'item' up the steps I would be leaving it on
the side of the road. Because that is what is at the top of them steps. But the high-and-mighty
Auckland Council calls that illegal dumping, and fines you up to $400, and sends you to Guantanamo
Bay without the option of a surfboard so that you can chat with radical Islamists for the next fifty
years.

So I now have an ornament at the foot of the steps below my letterbox. A fridge-freezer. A very dead
one. Lying down. A bit of modern sculpture, some performance-art, entitled 'Death of Civilisation.'

Not everyone has one. But don't be jealous. You too can have one. You just put one out for Orc's
indigestible, incompetent, inept, infuriating inorganic-collection system. Which will leave it for
you, artistically positioned, and festooned with a note to say that it will not be taken.

Like boo-rock-rats, it's impossible to take.

Would that we could get rid of the Supercilious Supersilly and get back our own Council and run our own affairs, free for ever of the malign injections from those mainliners over the water!

Sunday, 4 December 2016

INCOMPETENT INORGANIC

The new system for collecting inorganic rubbish is wunnerful, wunnerful, wunnerful!

You sign up for it, they send you an email to tell you what day they will be coming, asking you to
leave the stuff out (but not on the edge of the road, 'cause that's dumping), and they will come on
to your property on that day, some time after 7am, to take it away.

Fine.

No, not fine. I put six items out, all of them ones on their approved list, and together nowhere
near the maximum volume ('no more than would fill a small trailer').

I arrived home at the end of the designated day to find that only five of the six had gone. What was
left was a small fridge-freezer, with a note to say that it was too heavy for them to take.

Of course I understand that. It was not too heavy for me to take--all by myself--the 70 metres from
my dwelling to where I left it for them--only 7 metres from the road. I did that, just me, using my
antique muscles, which are older than Methuselah (who is on record as having lived 969 years),
muscles only slightly stronger than a malnourished pipi running on flat batteries.

But it seems not to have entered the official skulls to employ a couple of hefty Maori blokes
capable of lifting the entire planet on the tip of one hand whilst scoffing a pile of chips with the
other one. No, their blokes cannot, even when there are two of them, lift a small fridge-freezer.

So I called 301-0101, went through the usual labyrinth on the phone, whilst listening at the normal
high volume to what someone brain-dead likes to call music, and was then put into the 'escalation'
process, which has a lead-time of five working days. Wunnerful!

Sadly, that will not give their weaklings long enough to bulk up so that they will be able to move 7
metres what my malnourished pipis could move 70. I can see this process going on for 969 years.

Which is yet another reason for me to call the word 'progress' a one-word joke.

The pre-collection advertising said that items had to be able to be lifted by two men. Obviously something that could be moved by only one did not qualify. Or perhaps political-correctness has redefined 'men'. It now means weaklings.

Update 1: Ten days after the original collection-time the fridge-freezer has still not been taken, despite two calls to the Council. The contractor has not yet even emailed me...

Update 2; It is now eleven days after the collection date. I have just had a call from a hyperbolically bureaucratic woman from the Council, who said that the fridge-freezer would not be collected, because carrying it up the steps to the road was 'a health and safety issue', and that that had been checked by 'independent auditors', and that she 'supported the decision.' Please! If those purblind fools at the Council insist on changing the system that has worked for years (we took our inorganic items to the side of the road), and replacing it with one in which collectors come on to our properties to collect it, that means that on Waiheke, which has a large number of properties with steep access, up and down, including some with flights of steps from the road that are many times longer than my short 7 metres, then they must accommodate a wide variety of situations. I told that very stupid woman that I have, by myself, carried heavy things up and down those steps many many times. There are only twenty-nine steps, in three short flights, with two landings on the way up for taking a rest. So their 'two men' should find it easy to carry a small fridge-freezer up. Two--me and another man--carried it down, years ago. Those people are intransigent bureaucratic fools, with a bad system and the attitudes of blockheads. To repeat, I moved the fridge-freezer, by myself, up the hill the 70 metres from my cabin, but those bureaucrats say they cannot move it the remaining 7 metres with two 'men.' 'Progess' is indeed a one-word joke.

Would that we again had our own Council and were not ruled by arrogant bureaucrats over the water!